You Can Learn Active Listening!

Active listening is a multi-tasking situation. You may have picked up clues on what you need to address from the first practice on the Interpersonal page.

In Part 1 - 3 you will be examining your listening, body language and your response; all important interpersonal skills. Once you have a clearer understanding of what people expect from you as a active listener- and only then - do you get to actually speak!
That will be Part 4 - Don't jump ahead, one section is not effective training without the other . . .

So, did you do the interpersonal listening practices? If not, go back and complete the practices - you will need the discovery information to move on with your interpersonal skills here. Okay . . .Ready?

What did you learn? Are you made of stone (sat still) or a hummingbird (can't stop moving)? Maybe you realized you may pay attention better when you are multi-tasking or moving around. It could be true, or it could be based on how important you believe the conversation is - would you doodle or fidget if your best friend was telling you horrible news? So, then again, maybe not . . .

Here is the danger: You could be rating on the level of importance to you - when you need to rate on the level of importance to them!!

The speaker is looking for a connection with you and if you are not on the same level you can lose this person's trust, respect and they will eventually shut down and find someone else for the connection.

Continued disconnection leads to broken relationships in your life - work and personal.

Here is the change: You have to retrain your natural selection process. This means you must make conscious decisions (in other words, actually think about it) when you are setting your degree ratings for active listening. With each conversation, willfully ask yourself how important this is to the person speaking and set your listening at a matching (or higher) level. Be more engaged than the speaker!

This is seen by the speaker and they leave the conversation feeling heard and respected. This is active listening! Which means they will be more attentive when it is your turn. This benefits your interpersonal work relationships (referrals, promotions, networking) and your personal ones (use your imagination here).

Can you listen to all conversations 100%? Changing habits are difficult - it can take 21 days to 120 days to really set in the new programming so be pro-active, put up reminders, track your progress (more tips here at Mind/Body). Stick with it and eventually your new active listening degree rating setting will become a more effective habit worth keeping!

Would you like additional support and guidance for your practices? You can receive feedback and customized tips to improve your skills! See services, or connect with devaliving-training.

Continue your devaliving-training practices with these active listening guidelines to improve your interpersonal skills.

PRACTICE:

• Whenever possible - before you are going to have a conversation and be the listener - think to yourself what is the importance of this to the speaker and to what degree do you want to listen.
• Say this number aloud or write it down so it is in front of you during the conversation. If you have to, take a moment before listening (put them on hold, excuse yourself from the immediate space, take a drink of water anything to allow you to consciously think this through).
• Be sure to track your progress, write notes on the degree and the outcome, or what happened when you didn't set the degree prior to listening.

Add this to the Interpersonal practices and when you are ready, move on to Active Listening-Part 2: body language.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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